Pretty standard stuff really. You put your crinkled up dollar in, it spits it out a few times, you try to flatten it over the edge of a table and while it does succeed in that manner, you also proceed to turn it into a cocaine straw. When the machine finally accepts the dollar you always find yourself struggling to decide what selection to make. Its as if all logic goes out the window. I don't know about the rest of you, but I consciously make a decision before I walk to the soda machine just! so I don't look like that jackass who stares at the buttons debating myself like its the million dollar question on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and i'm all out of lifelines. Yet, when the machine finally reads 1.00 I find myself, each and every time, staring at the god damn buttons. I don't know if I think I'm going to trick myself into try something that has < 23 flavors, because it never happens. I'm addicted to that shit.
But don't worry, I have come up with a simple solution for this dilemma. Its the random soda button. Today I proposed to the fine Soda Machine Filler Upper Guy at my local soda machine to ditch the Sprite in favor of a randomized soda selection option. Lets face it, Sprite hasn't been cool since Grant Hill had ankles. And that's not a knock on Grant Hill's ankles, the man is playing like a champ this season, its really a diss on Sprite. The best they've done the past decade is get some free publicity from a fan's fake commercial.
Caution: NSFW (sort of)
I say screw the Sprite and let's step outside the safety circle and just waste a spot in the rotation. Why does every slot have to be a specific drink? I think the worst thing that happens to these machines is they get stale. I think sugar peddlers should take a page out of the fast food playbook and leave a slot open for a monthly promotional beverage. The Random button would be the A-1 Thick & Hearty of the vending machine. It could bring buzz back to a boring business model, and hell, it sure doesn't hurt to try.
