Sore Throats, A catalyst?

     Waking up with a sore throat was not exactly what I had in mind this morning.  It's funny how a slight setback will affect my thoughts for the entire day.  With every swallow I am reminded of my many failings.

Failure to eat healthy? Check!

Failure to establish regular exercise? Double Check!

     I really can only blame myself for the sore throat, if I just stuck to those two ideals I probably would not be in this predicament.  Exercise and cleaner eating have always made me feel great and more confident, which would have eliminated the poor attitude I had all day.

    Of course, the reason I quit doing said ideals in the first place is also my fault.  My constant need to always be productive(accomplish a goal of some kind) really gets in the way of just living life.  I have this diabolical need to complete tasks which is so intense that if I try to do something that takes me away from those goals, I immediately feel guilty.  This part of me starts to gnaw away at my resolve until I stop relaxing and get back to doing something that has a purpose, whether that be finishing up the dishes, vacuuming,  or just organizing some clutter.

     Home ownership has really thrown a wrench into my social/healthier life.  All I can think about is the imaginary honey-do's I have created for myself to make the house I share with Beeb a cleaner, clutter free, more energy efficient place to relax and enjoy.  Which is really just laughable if you think about it, how insane can I really be to think that one day I will actually be able to enjoy some guilt-free relaxation?

    It really is an uphill battle for me to relax, although I have to admit, I have been pretty lackadaisical for the past few weeks.  While it does feel nice to just sit around watching random tv instead of slaving over my weekly television regimen to get caught up, in the back of my mind I am going crazy.  All I can do is continue to do battle with my inner sweatshop slave-driver, and try to find some kind of a balance......until next semester starts and all bets are off.

.....S.